not smart enough without my coffee

i often joke when i go refill my coffee cup, that i'm "off to get another cup of brains." and people laugh, because it's kinda silly to think of a person's intelligence coming out of a cup.

today, we have proof that i'm not COMPLETELY joking when i say these things. i started to pour my first cup of coffee this morning and got halfway into it when i realized i was pouring it onto my oatmeal instead of into my mug! i had coffee and brown sugar oatmeal this morning, which was not half bad.

merry christmas!

nothing puts you in the christmas spirit quite like watching kids experience christmas for the first time. their wonder, innocence, and inquisitiveness are a beautiful sight to behold and good for the soul. so, thanks to my nieces for reminding me of how much PURE FUN christmas can be. i've never been scrooge-y about christmas. i've always enjoyed it, although i sometimes give in to the stressful feelings of having too much to do and not enough time to do it in.

it's a blessing to be here at my parents' house, watching 2 year olds "decorate" the christmas tree by (literally) throwing bows at it. the redhead throws with purpose and makes them stick. the blonde tends to throw (goddess forgive me for saying this) like a girl, so hers fall off and her sister has to reapply them. we've taken all the bows off and thrown them at the tree three or four times now, because it's fun. "nana" has strong memories of how frustrating childhood is when all you want is to explore and play, and all the grown-ups keep doing is telling you "no-no, that's [dangerous, breakable, hot, not-for-kids, etc.]" she has done her best to make her house a totally explorable, kid-friendly zone. all the breakable, heirloom decorations are either on high shelves or still in storage. everything that's out is either dollar-store quality and won't be missed if they break it, or tough enough to survive their exploration activities. the kids are loving it, and so are we.

and now, back to it. i'm in charge of the cooking. technical challenge of the weekend: making popcorn in a pan on the stove. my sister is on an allergen-free diet, and there are no microwave popcorns that conform. she showed me how to do it, and aside from a few burned kernels, i think i did alright. it certainly had a down-home taste to it that i don't think i was imagining.

signs...

...that you really need to go to a holiday party and behave irresponsibly and indulge with excess until you forget that you have a dayjob, number 1:

Your Friend says, "Hey, let's stop at the store on the way to the party and get something to drink." Whereupon you reply, "Yes, we need to leverage the opportunity to work through the process and procure some supplies." And when your friend's jaw drops to the floor and asks if you did, or did not, just assault her with meaningless buzzwords you reply, "What did I say?"

That's right, kids. If you find yourself inadvertently spewing business buzzwords to your friends, on your weekends, and you DON'T EVEN REALIZE YOU'VE DONE IT, you need to have a large frosty glass of holiday cheer, or a meat mallet to the head. Take whichever you prefer, but take it soon.

hearsay...

i heard this story about my niece recently, and i've been telling it to anyone who will listen. so here it is...
(setting)
my sister is walking past the bedroom of her two year old twin girls, with her 6 month old baby on her hip. she notices one of them fast asleep, and the other one lying in bed talking to herself. she decides to check in to make sure the talker doesn't need a diaper change or juice or something only moms can give.

SISTER: *walks in and lays baby on foot of bed* Honey, are you ok?
TALKY TWIN: I love Jesus.
SISTER: I love Jesus, too, honey. And he loves us, like his children.
TALKY TWIN: *gives her mother a you're-not-getting-it look* No, I love BABYJESUS! *points, for emphasis, at her sister at the foot of the bed*
SISTER: *ROFL*

apparently, the toddlers have been learning about babyjesus at school, as is the way this time of year. and somehow, in the brain of a toddler, Baby Sister and Baby Jesus have conflated into one thing. so right now, sister is babyjesus, and sometimes just Jesus.

oh, and while i'm at it...

happiest of happy birthday wishes to Squirt, Fluffy, and Trouble. all three of you are in my heart and in my thoughts today. for the brief, feverish moments that i was awake yesterday, i thought of you then, too. :) but that might have just been the fever dreams...

Did anybody get the number of that truck... ?

It hit me like a truck, it did. I thought at first it had to be bacterial, simply because my throat was so sore and my fever was so persistent. It turned out to be a virus, after q-tips up the nose, lights down the throat, and a blood donation were all tested and reviewed. Either that, or I'm allergic to snow. It might be both, come to think of it. Michigan last week gave me plenty of opportunity to be exposed to both. After having slept for 40 of the last 48 hours, I can now say that I'm feeling fine. So, the truck loses, and I win. And, for the sake of irony, I would like to report that Saginaw airport loads and unloads their aircraft in much better STYLE than O'Hare in Chicago does. When you have checked a bag planeside because the aircraft is too small to accommodate your standard roll-aboard overnight suitcase, and you have to STAND OUTSIDE IN THE HORIZONTAL SLEET to recover said bag, you know you've arrived in travel hell. And I'll tell ya, ladies and gents, Chicago has a lot to learn from Saginaw on that score.

This week, I'm off to Knoxville, TN. If I return without my hair glowing green or anything, I'll be pleasantly surprised. Apparently the facility I'm visiting has enough hazardous areas to warrant an online safety training that is required for all visitors. So now I know not to cross the magenta ropes that are marked "RADIOACTIVE HAZARD AREA". Thanks to the training, I'm safely prepared. :P