rain fell on alabama

in alabama, there's this big cultural thing about how "stars fell on alabama". every little municipality here has its name on the city limits in a star-shaped sign, it's all over the license plates and bumper stickers. i am here to tell you, brothers and sisters, that the song got it WRONG. meteors may have graced the atmosphere here once or twice, but what FELL on alabama was RAIN. in buckets. in sheets. in giant waves pushed by the tires of semi-trucks coursing down i-85 in the dark of night. thus, i feel nothing but unlove for the rain that fell on alabama last night.

i tried to be prepared. i saw clouds overhead, so i checked the weather radio before i went roaring off into the hills to find this little restaurant by the lake, just to be sure. yes, i have a weather band radio. it came in the CB unit for the bike. this does NOT make me a geezer.

the weather radio said that we had a weather front in birmingham moving EAST. for those playing along at home, montgomery is SOUTH of birmingham. it is not EAST. east of birmingham you find such exciting destinations as atlanta. i, gentle readers, am SOUTH of birmingham. naturally, all my brilliant geographical knowledge did not avail me dryness yesterday.

luckily, i was able to kick up my feet and watch the weather channel for a couple of hours at the restaurant where i ate dinner. unluckily, i had to drink coke instead of the delightful $1 beers that the bartender was serving up. had i known how long i was going to be stranded, however, i might've had a beer or two. as it is, i'm an optimist, so i kept drinking coke and looking for the sky to clear.

luckily, the busboy gave me good directions home that did NOT involve the twisty, hilly road i'd ridden out there on. twisty, hilly roads are BIG! FUN! when you're in dryness and light. they are sucky, anxiety-riddled death when you are in dark wetness. unluckily, i hit another cell of the storm about 10 miles from my hotel. i had to pull over under a freeway overpass to sit it out.

luckily, the overpass loomed almost immediately after the hard rain started and was relatively safe and dry. unluckily, i sat there for 30 minutes looking at the dry, comfortable gas station on the far side that i couldn't get to because i had passed up the exit while i was so fixated on JUST. MAKING. THE. OVERPASS.

bonus fun: my leather gloves were apparently dyed black on the cheap. when i came home, all of my fingers and a ring around my palm were stained dark black. i looked like i'd been very thoroughly fingerprinted!