a monday meme
rather than saying any of the entirely-too-deep things that are in my head today, i've decided to post a meme! i know you're utterly surprised to hear that i'd rather deflect the topic than talk about my inner workings, but try to contain your shock. now, muster up some curiosity and do the meme! this, you may note, requires you to comment...
Ask me a question about EACH of the following:
- Friends
- Sex
- Music
- Religion
- Love
- Blogging
Then post this in your blog and see what questions you get asked!
Posts
4 comments:
Friends: how many different levels of friendships do you have and what are they?
Sex: Is orgasm a must for a successful sexual encounter...have you ever faked?
Music: I have music lists for different moods....what would be on your angry list?
Religion: How close does your spirituality have to match your potential partner's in order to have a successful relationship?
Love: How do you know when you are in love?
Blogging: If just the act of writing is therapeutic, why post the stuff?
friendship: there's totally open (like i am with my sisters and a very few others), there's deep friendship - where i'll share a lot and you know my history but you don't know everything and there are some things i won't share, there's regular friendship - with limited access to my feelings but pretty full access to my day-to-day, and then there's casual friendship - warm and social but not deep and not daily, and then there's acquaintanceship - i don't assume you remember me but if you're on this list, i know who you are.
sex: orgasm is not essential, but a lot of no-orgasm sex is a problem. it doesn't have to be EVERY time, but it has to be most of the time. i faked once a LOOOOONG time ago.
music: my angry list would include modest mouse, creed, 3 doors down, the kentucky headhunters, ac/dc, guns n' roses, some of melissa ferrick, some of melissa etheridge, etc.
religion: we have to be able to agree on how to raise any children we might have, and my partner cannot be of a spiritual tradition that holds that i am going to hell for being who i am, or that i am going to hell for not being a member of that particular tradition.
love: i just know. if i had to explain how, i would say that i can gauge whether it's love or like based on the intensity of the feeling and the source of the feeling. if i "love" even when i'm angry or sad or in a difficult emotional position, then i know it's love. if i "love" when i'm on a high, i don't trust that feeling to last and i assume it's "like".
when i love, i would give up the light of the universe for myself forever to see it in the eyes of my beloved. if i had a shrink, s/he would probably slap me silly for saying that, because it smacks of codependence, but that's how i love.
blogging: i post it because sometimes i'm writing to share my thoughts with the universe. i like to amuse, i like to keep my friends up to date on the funny stories that happen in my life. the emotional stuff i don't have to post, unless it's the writing itself, the wordcraft, that i'm proud of.
Friends1:When making friends, do you know immediately which level someone is going to be or are the levels something that they work their way up or down?
Friends2:What is that which would be unforgivable and cause you to end a friendship?
Sex1: I'm sure you've heard of Lesbian Bed Death--could you stay in a relationship so afflicted?
Sex2: Which is more important: being fucked senseless or cuddling?
Music1: One act you would absolutely have to buy tickets for if they were in town?
Music2: You, a deserted island, one CD (not a mix)...what is it?
Religion1: What are your spiritual beliefs?
Religion2: If/When you have children, is belonging to an organized religion a necessity?
Love1: can you fall out of love?
Love2: Do you believe that there is such a thing as "the one"?
Blogging1: Would it bother you to know that someone who you may not care for reads your blog?
Blogging2: Have you ever got in "trouble" when someone read something you wrote?
Friends1:When making friends, do you know immediately which level someone is going to be or are the levels something that they work their way up or down?
levels are something people work up and down. i sometimes can tell when i meet someone that they have the potential to end up on a deep level, but the levels are achieved by establishing trust and by hanging around long enough to get to know me.
Friends2:What is that which would be unforgivable and cause you to end a friendship?
I've never explicitly ended a friendship, in so many words. Once, a "friend" disrespected me in a way that bordered on physical abuse. I hit her back, and I made no effort to contact her afterward. She made no effort to apologize, and we just quit talking. I don't know what I'd have done if she'd decided to apologize and wanted to stay friends. Also, violation of my trust (spying on me, revealing private information, lying to me, etc.) is grounds for immediate removal to casual friendship, if not acquaintanceship.
Sex1: I'm sure you've heard of Lesbian Bed Death--could you stay in a relationship so afflicted?
I don't think I could, if it left my sexual needs unmet. I wouldn't immediately end the relationship over it, but I think LBD is a symptom of an emotional problem in the relationship, not a separate phenomenon in and of itself.
Sex2: Which is more important: being fucked senseless or cuddling?
It depends on what the relationship in question is based on. In a sex-only relationship, being fucked senseless is the more important thing. In a friends-with-benefits relationship, the cuddling is more important. In a romantic relationship, the two have equal importance in the long run although one or the other can take on more importance in the short term, depending on the situation.
Music1: One act you would absolutely have to buy tickets for if they were in town?
Jimmy Buffett
Music2: You, a deserted island, one CD (not a mix)...what is it?
Does a Lilith Fair concert CD count as a mix? If it doesn't, then I want that. If it does, then I think I'd pick a live recording of Kathy & Bella from a Sunday night.
Religion1: What are your spiritual beliefs?
I think that there is a Divine of some kind that has been detected by mankind on a spiritual level since the beginning of human society. The image and the attributes we ascribe to the Divine depend on our cultural outlook and our social ideals. Western societies tend to see the Divine as a male god father-figure with a hands-off approach who metes out just reward or punishment for deeds done of freewill. Eastern societies tend to see the Divine as an array of personalities some of whom are capricious and some of whom are fair-minded and all of whom put man through some unavoidable things that man cannot change but must merely endure and is rewarded for enduring with a good grace. I think they're all the same Divine, and we all end up in the same afterlife, but how that Divine is revealed to us depends on our own limited ability to grok it, which is shaped by our cultural outlook. It's like the Divine is behind us, over our shoulder, and we can only see it by looking in a mirror that's in front of us, but the mirror is shattered. Each of us sees a different part of the Divine and we see it from different angles because we're seeing it from different pieces of the mirror.
As a philosophy, it means I strive to give the utmost respect and understanding to viewpoints different from my own, I try to minimize the harm I do, and maximize the good. I try to enjoy today as much as possible, and ensure that I'm a responsible steward of what I've got so that I can enjoy tomorrow as well.
Religion2: If/When you have children, is belonging to an organized religion a necessity?
In their early days, yes. I want my kids to be taught an absolute right/wrong framework at an early age and if indoctrination comes along with that, so be it. As long as the religion preaches tolerance, I'll work with the rest of it. When they get old enough and have a stable enough moral compass, I'll be happy to talk to them about relativism and gray areas and how every religion is based on mythology and they shouldn't take it too literally. But that comes in time.
Love1: can you fall out of love?
No. Love grows over time, and it dies over time. Sometimes you don't notice it dying, so you wake up one day to find it dead, but it doesn't just stop suddenly.
Love2: Do you believe that there is such a thing as "the one"?
Absolutely not. There are many people that each of us could be compatible with at various stages of our lives. Some people will never be able to meet their needs with just one person at a time. We grow and change so much in our lives, I think it's naive to believe that one person for everyone can be everything forever.
Blogging1: Would it bother you to know that someone who you may not care for reads your blog?
The only people I don't want reading my blog are people who would use the information found there against me in some way. I don't care if people I'm not fond of read it, I just don't want anyone reading it and then making trouble for me about it.
Blogging2: Have you ever got in "trouble" when someone read something you wrote?
No, and I hope I never do. *Sound of fingers crossing*
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