What Just Happened???

So I woke up yesterday morning around 6. The electricity worked. I went back to sleep. I woke up again around 7. The electricity did not work. Now, I have this longstanding theory that electricity is not controlled (as your science teacher would have you believe) by the principles of magnetism and the motion of free electrons in, on, and among the valence shells of atoms that hover around the metal line on the periodic table of the elements. Nooooo... Electricity is controlled by the flow of the Traffic Of Little Green Men. In your alarm clock, the Little Green Men hold up glowing placards to indicate the time and bang on little gongs or blow on kazoos or flog cats to create the alarm tone. The method of noisemaking depends on your clock. I had one in which the Little Green Men drove a schoolbus in reverse to create that "whoop whoop" backup warning. In your microwave, the Little Green Men run into the dark oven while you're pressing buttons (the number of them depends on the buttons you press) and then stand under your food holding little Zippo lighters that they use to heat your food. When you open the door, they all run back into the walls of the microwave. Different electrical appliances are operated differently, but the Little Green Men get in through the plug wiring and they do what they need to do inside, and then they go out on break.

Well, yesterday morning, all my Little Green Men were on break at once. Apparently they were striking outside my apartment and refusing to perform any further services for me without payment. The nasty thing is, I DID pay them. I sent my payment to them through my online bill pay service over two weeks ago! You'd think the Little Green Men would be aware of this, since they carried the message to the bank in the course of their duties. I guess I should be grateful the Little Green Men are not reading my mail, but in this case it would have been better for me had they been snoopers. Anyway, the Little Green Men were gone, and there was no way to get them back from within my house because I needed Little Green Men to dig up the evidence that I had in fact made the payment and then to find the contact information for the relevant human entities at the bank and the Little Green Men Local Union #4242 (aka: TXU Energy).

The research had to be put off until my work (for which I get paid) was done, which meant I couldn't contact any relevant human entities until 5. Given that I had to talk to various Little Green Man-powered fake human entities for a good period of time in order to reach an actual human entity, I'll just skip to the conclusion and tell you that I had to sleep in the dark last night. That's not so bad, since it would have been dark anyway. I generally give the Little Green Men the night off, except for the ones that I have on call inside my phone. Occasionally I do employ a few of them as candleholders when I'm reading or to operate the Steam Engine that makes Magic Smoke for my computer, but that's mostly on weekends. However, there is one service which the Little Green Men provide that I REALLY missed last night: they tend the Furnace of Central Heat and Air Conditioning at my apartment. With no Little Green Men, the Furnace went out and my apartment was far colder than I prefer it to be when I awoke. I was safe and all, given that I'd bundled up and this is tropical Texas, but I was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE getting out of my warm covers and into my chilly room this morning.

I still don't know who is responsible for the miscommunication, but basically my payment for the services of the Little Green Men went to a gas company in Arizona. It used to be affiliated with Little Green Men Local Union #4242 and now it's not and somehow either my bill paying service or the Little Green Men who courier my messages became confused about the intended recipient of the payment. I clearly expressed my intention to pay money to Little Green Men Local Union #4242, but my payment went to the gas company in Arizona. Sadness.

Anyway, all that got sorted today, and hopefully I'll be reunited with my Little Green Men tonight. Now all that's left is to bash some heads in until I get my lost money back.